Forgiveness

Over at Sunshine and Shadows, Danny talks about forgiveness.

I thought I was pretty easy going, generally forgiving sort of person.  But about three years ago, the demons came out.  I had a motorbike crash.  A bad one.  This happened.  If you want the full story, it's here on my old bike blog.   Mrs Gerbil had a few things to say as well

I had more than a few dark spells post crash.  At one point, in the day or so after the crash I was angry enough to wish the other driver had died.  In actual fact, she was lucky.  Had we hit her car about a foot further forward then the bike may have went right through her car, probably killing the three of us.

I am led to believe that the driver turned up at a local mechanic who does car sales on the side.  Alledgedly she said "how was I supposed to see them, they were wearing dark clothes?"  which is the wrong thing to say in front of a group of bike owning mechanics...  She didn't buy a car that day...

I found out later that the driver wasn't going to be prosecuted, as the Procurator Fiscal saw it as a matter for the insurance companies to sort out.  So you drive a few miles over the speed limit and get a £60 fine, but you nearly kill two people and you walk away scot free?  I wrote to express my displeasure at their decision...

I pretty much got over the dark spells when I got back on the road, but I can't go past that junction either in the car or on the bike without backing off the throttle.

I don't know, and I don't want to know who the other driver was.  In the unlikely event we ever meet, I'll probably say shit happens and leave it at that.  There's nothing any of us can do to change things.  It's behind us, something from our mutual past.  In the big scheme of things, it was nothing.  Why should I find forgiveness so hard when someone like Eric Lomax can forgive his captors?

I came to realise that I'm probably not the best example of forgiveness in action. There's a dark side of me deep down that I'm not sure I like.